Joy
I didn’t know what made me happy when I stopped drinking alcohol. My life revolved around drinking alcohol, and I hadn’t left space for other hobbies.
I enjoyed singing, dancing, performing, drawing, and writing stories as a child. At some point, as we ‘grow up’, again through conditioning, we feel like we shouldn’t do these things anymore unless we are good at them….or bizarrely unless we are drunk.
Drunk dancing? Drunk karaoke? Pictionary? Fun right?
When drunk, we get a free pass to letting go and doing things just because they feel good. When you’re drunk, people can’t judge you in the same way (or that’s how it feels at the time). You can blame everything on being drunk…after all, you weren’t in control.
It doesn’t stop you from having the fear about what you did, who you spoke to and where you went though!
My downtime was spent mainly drinking or recovering from drinking, so I hadn’t discovered other activities outside of work - making me a bit of a workaholic!
Not great for work-life balance.
Do you know what brings you joy? What makes you happy? What lights you up?
Do you allow yourself time to be joyful?
Take the time to listen to the visualisation to help you to connect with yourself.
JOY VISUALISATION - LISTEN TO ME
Jo Ferbrache
Now write on the JOY page in your Sober Journal about what you enjoy doing or think you might enjoy doing. We might need to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone and try something new to discover this.
You may have found some of these hobbies before in the past and then stopped doing them. Do you self-sabotage? Maybe you have a habit of stopping yourself from doing the things that make you feel good? Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve to have fun? If this is the case, I want you to know that YOU ARE WORTHY and to remind yourself why it’s important to do things that light you up.
This is a reminder that life is short and to do more of what brings YOU joy.
Look back to when you were a child - what did you enjoy doing then?
Do you ever dream of doing something? Start taking note!
Look at your mood tracker in the daily pages of your Sober Journal, see when you were happiest and what you did on those days to help identify this over time, you should start to see patterns; this will create an awareness of what brings you joy and what doesn’t so that you can do more of what you learn you love.
There is plenty to do that does not involve alcohol. With online groups and courses, you can keep yourself busy from the comfort of your living room!
Having something to look forward to outside of work is essential, whether walking, running, yoga, boxing, dancing, art, singing, cooking, pottery, knitting etc.
You now have time and energy to commit. Fill your diary and replace old bad habits with new healthy ones. It can also be fun to do with friends or a great way to meet new friends. It’s amazing when you open yourself to making new connections with like-minded people who are on your level.