Week 3 - Mindset
Your mindset holds immense power, and how you approach this journey will greatly influence your success in this Programme.
When you set the intention that this journey will be a struggle, chances are, it will be just that.
Are you focusing on what you're embracing or what you're leaving behind?
Negativity breeds negativity. Pause next time you catch yourself dwelling on the downsides of your choices and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. It takes conscious effort and time to rewire deeply ingrained thought patterns. We must cultivate awareness and mindfulness in our daily thoughts.
Who dictates that growth is dull?
Society may have normalised certain behaviours, but you have the power to rewrite the narrative. But first, you must believe it's possible.
Before I began my journey, I was a workaholic; my central nervous system was stuck in fight or flight, and I used alcohol as my way to wind down. When I stopped drinking alcohol and created a more mindful life, I worried about missing out or being considered dull by friends, colleagues and clients. However, over time, my perspective shifted. I discovered the richness that growth offered me - self-awareness, genuine confidence, deeper connections with myself and others, mental clarity, uninterrupted time, and cherished memories. I gain all this and more through my choices.
If you're working with me one-on-one and find deep-rooted limiting beliefs hindering your progress, consider EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) as a powerful tool we can explore together in a session.
Below is a fantastic exercise I have used with many clients to monitor thoughts.
thought Monitoring Exercise.
Reflect on what comes up for you on Week 3 in your Mindset Journal. This exercise has been adapted from Mindful Loving by Henry Grayson
Identify your thought.
"What was I just thinking?"
When you notice a negative feeling pop up, pause to identify the specific thought that triggered the feeling. 90-95% of our thoughts are repetitive day-to-day. We tend to get on a spin cycle and continually review and reinforce the tapes running in our heads - these thoughts are automatic.
We must not give our power away to the outer circumstance. Take back control and remember that it’s how we think about the circumstance and our resulting response to this that creates a negative feeling.
Creating awareness around these negative thoughts means that we can actively and consciously replace them with empowering statements - statements that will serve us. It takes practice, but it is so worth it.
Practice observing and naming your thoughts. When you notice that you are upset, be curious and ask yourself: "What was I just thinking?"
If you can identify these thoughts, you can work on reframing them for yourself.
Name the process.
"That was one of those disturbing ego thoughts. And, it doesn’t serve me."
Instead of identifying with the thought, and reinforcing it, we can practice separating from it and letting it go. When we highlight thoughts in this way we can create space and distance from them. "There is one of those disturbing thoughts."
Just because you think a thought doesn't mean it's true.
You are not your mind. You are not your thoughts.
We are 100% responsible for the quality of our relationships and lives.
Make a choice.
What I focus on, will increase.
Do I want this thought to expand and multiply?
Ask yourself that question. It sounds simple. It is. But, it’s not always easy.
State to yourself (out loud, if possible...or silently if needs be):
"What I focus on will increase." Then, ask yourself: Is this a thought and a feeling that I want to expand and continue?"
Make a clear choice.
We can begin to establish a clear conversation with our own minds.
Notice the different voices at play. Is this your Inner Child, Inner Critic, Victim, or Parent? Who is attempting to run the show?
Let this voice know that you have heard them....and then, let them know who is in charge. You know what is right for you. Remember it starts with you.
Banish your negative thought.
Cut out the negative thought.
When you say to yourself, "I banish this thought.”, you are giving your mind a firm directive and informing your unconscious of what you demand.
The more clarity and conviction you have in banishing this negativity, the more likely your mind will listen.
You can use a statement (again, out loud, if possible or silently) like:
"I banish this thought!"
"Cancel–Clear!"
"I choose a different positive thought, which will serve me, rather than this thought which I know will not”
Now replace the negative thought with a positive affirmation:
"I only deserve love."
“I am gaining X, Y, Z from not drinking alcohol.”
“I am raising money for a good cause, whilst helping myself.”
"I have good intentions.”
"Things are always working out for me."
Over time the Thought Monitoring Exercise can become second nature and we can learn to quickly repel negativity and host positive, empowering thoughts that help us daily, rather than hold us back.
When you are proud of your choice to be more mindful about what serves you, others do not question it - they may even become curious themselves! Focus on the positive.